((((((((((((hangingon)))))))))))))

It is horrible when our Ts let us down, because there is no way to go back and redo it... Once, maybe a year ago, I was in a BAD PLACE. I really needed something from T- I can't remember what, maybe an extra appointment, or a phone call or something - and I left him voice messages and e-mailed him and made it really clear (I thought) that I needed (whatever it was that I needed - can't remember). And he never e-mailed or called...even though he told me he would ALWAYS e-mail or call if I asked - and I definitely asked.

I was SO HURT. I thought that was it for me, I'd never be able to trust him again. When we finally connected, all he said was "I screwed up". I asked if there had been some sort or emergency or something, and there hadn't been. So there was no "good excuse" other than t made a mistake. And there we were.

It was definitely one of those "this isn't a real relationship" moments...and it really made me question whether he cared, whether I could trust him, all of that. Part of me just wanted to put up all of my walls (which I did for a bit) and quit therapy...and part of me knew that with him, I would heal...even if he makes mistakes sometimes. I want to heal more than anything.

So, I had to just let it go. We did talk (and talk and talk) about it, but in the end, all I could do was forgive him and move on.

It is HORRIBLE when our T's don't give us what we need, especially when we are in a crisis or a really vulnerable moment (I was in that sort of time as well when this happened). It hurts and it makes us question everything.

I hope you are able to find some peace around it, hangingon.

Lots and lots of to you.