Hangingon....I think your name says it all. You just hang on. I think you know she cares about you. But like everyone else has said it is so hard to connect when they let us down and we dont feel attached or we dont want to let ourselves feel safe. I know that feeling of not wanting to be vulnerable.
Maybe you can say something to her about feeling like she didnt care or wasnt sensitive to what you needed at this sensitive time.

I think she cares and you cant imagine how many of those "this isnt a real relationship" moments I have had with my t. But it isnt the kind of relationship Im used to and she cares and I have really learned from her that people make mistakes and I make mistakes and I can forgive her. She has apologized to me countless times. If you tell her, she will have an opportunity to aplogize and you can see her as more human. Its also is a good opportunity to get closer when you are even a little bit honest about being hurt by her.