Quote:
Originally Posted by kris9999
Amanda, after reading your post, you reminded me of something. The last time I can remember the others trying to come out was when I was on medication. I was on Lithium, and not only did it help AMAZINGLY with my mood swings, it also helped to bring them to me.
Before they would come out and I would ALWAYS black out, whether it was for 2 minutes or 8 hours, I would vanish from the world. NOW as of today, I did not black out both times she came out.
I understand what you are saying about why the doctors may look for some other reason but most of the time they count out DIDs before even talking to me. Most of the time they ask me on my very first visit what I have been diagnosed with and everything BUT bipolar and manic depression is crossed off their list, from the moment they see or speak to me. They do not take the time to know the situation at all. A few Ts have agreed that I have DID, and the one who diagnosed me with it was the T I saw the longest out of all of them. (Boy do I miss him... He wanted to help me)
The reason I am so worried about Ts trying to "help" me with my DID is because the Ts that I have spoken to recently haven't wanted to help me, but to try and fix me. I am worried that they will try to mess with this head enough to scare them away for good and we have made so much progress I do not want to go back to the way things used to be. I do not want to go back to the blackouts and I do not want them to vanish on me.
No two "cases" of DID are the same, they just have the same qualities and ground "rules" (probably not the correct word) so I am aware that my situation is much different than the rest, as is everyone elses. No two minds are the same and no two DIDs are the same.
DHL... The she that I was referring to is Becky... Up until last week I assumed that she was the only one. Than I found out about the man. And today I found out that there are 12 total. So now instead of she I will be using they or us. A woman came out today twice, the same woman. Unfortunately and oddly enough, when trying to get her name all she would say is "I don't know" this could however explain why sometimes I have moments where I don't know my name and my past doesn't seem like it happened to me, or maybe I'm just making up excuses for myself on that one 
She answered other questions and we have learned a lot today but I still do not know who she is. I'm just very thankful to have gotten some answers and not to have blacked out! Thanks both of you for your comments they are appreciated! |
its fantastic how fast you are moving through the process. you went from having black outs every time to having no black outs like over night without a therapist helping you to gain that control. it took me 15 years of therapy to get to the point of staying aware when my alters came out. At this speed you wont need a therapist by the time the new one has an opening for you. keep up the great work.
maybe you can ask your therapist for an offical evaluation with a psychiatrist/psychologist (they're the only ones that can give the offical diagnosis testing) that way once you have all the medical and psychological testing done no matter who you see and no matter why you have to see your doctors in the future, the DID will be offically on the filesand like the bipolar/manic depression it will stay prermantly a part of your medical and psychological files. It could save alot of problems in the future for you. I know it getting the offical medical/psychological evaluation for dissociative disorders done was extremely helpful in battering down all the red tape and hassles for me. Its a long process and loads of tests but its well worth it.