That's something different from what I was talking about. I think the way yours works is, you can feel two ways about something -- miserable and happy, let's say, just like the proverbial glass that's half empty and half full at the same time. If you're only in touch with one of those at a time, you may feel stuck in miserable, but if you try "pretending" to be the other you may discover that it's true for you as well.

hmmm I try pretending every day - as i go to work i put on my professional nothng can tuoch me and i am happy happy happy face so no-one willl knoww how i really feel - it takes an enourmous amount of energy i find - my old T said just keep pretending and it will come true......not so far. I just mask it till i get home - when i feel safe at home i crash and burn - lucky im a phoenix - so i can rise formthe ashes (a bit dusty perhaps lol)

I don't see it as invalidating. You're not claiming you aren't miserable and never were; you're just discovering that you also have the choice of being happy.

I see what you are saying - i tell myself every day - you ahve the choice to feel this way or to be happy - BE HAPPY !!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! lol not very successful so far - but i keep trying - yes i know im very trying......

I've discovered that I often feel two or more ways about something -

or 3 or 4 in the minutes that folow lol

- I may both love someone and hate them,
(eek wasnt me - I didnt do it .......it was .......him!!!!! lol)
for instance. Not only isn't it confusing for me (any more! lol) but I'm satisfied that I get a bigger and more accurate "picture" that way of what's really going on. The few borderline people that I've discussed this with, though, have said they couldn't see doing that; it seemed impossible to them. I've noticed some of them bouncing from one extreme to the other, never comfortable with either.

I seem to sway around a lot - no wonder i fall over lol - have quitea few cutrs and bruises to show for it too!I understand that you can love and hate someone - but i do not allow myself to do either much..... I try to say well that is who they are and not decide....... indecision in itself being a decision.

Back to what I was saying earlier: it would be entirely different if instead of "pretending" to be happy (and so discovering that you really were), you were to argue that you had everything you needed so rationally you "should" be happy. That would be invalidating, and would most likely leave you stuck wondering why you had trouble feeling happy.

ah ha! that explains why the professional face and pretending thing isnt working - thanks - it also maeks you angry and frustrated that YOU JUST DONT GET IT !!!!!!!! for crying out loud!!!! JUST BE HAPPY!!!! GRRRRR

I guess what I started out saying was that "knowing something intellectually" tends to get in the way of knowing whether it's true in my experience or not.