hi and welcome!

first i'd like to say that i'm sorry for what you've both been thru. between the two of you there's so much pain and loss and i'm truly sorry.

i can see where your surprise visit would totally freak her out. she's a survivor and has trust issues. she possibly has PTSD and lives in fear...surprises are NOT good. predictability and routine are best.

having said all of that. i wish the two of you well. i think you'd have alot to offer each other WHEN you've given everything that self needs...including healing. sufferers can't give the 100% that relationships take. they need to heal and repair self before they can be a whole half of a relationship.

i hope it works, but fear it won't.

be safe and gl.

kd