Quote:
Originally Posted by soccerball
I am so scared and stuck and frustrated right now, and just at the point where I want T to rescue me. I know that isn't possible (especially because I have such a hard time asking for what I need, or even knowing what I need) or her role, but I don't know what else to do.
Do others feel this way? Out of control and scared and wanting their T to jump in and stop the cycle? I know this isn't fair of me to want, because the only person who can change anything is me, but at times it feels like the only hope.
I've talked with her about this before, not wanting to ask for help but at the same time needing it, but I feel like this is slightly different. How far can T's go to help? What is appropriate and what isn't? I know boundaries depend on the situation and relationship, but I'm curious as to the experience of others.
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My experience with this exact same issue was that growing up I was in a very powerless position, I'd learnt to become helpless to a degree....I too wanted to be saved. What I've found is that theres a different way that T's saving us comes about...I have flashbacks in therapy and when I am back in time I can mentally put T there into the old picture....this changes the intense aloneness of my traumas...also T sits with me when I am experiencing very powerful fears and in the beginning I wanted to attack her for not stopping the fears, but whats shes done has become a presence, so its not that she has taken the awful fears away, its that I am becoming stronger and bear them more....these are the ways I've found T saves me when actually us doing what we need to do to heal ourselfs with the T's presence...so it can be done and is a natural part of recovery.