When a therapist is told that their client is feeling uncomfortable around them, and feels like there is this imposed distance between them and the client, and finds a way to address the issue only by turning it back onto the client ("Well, why do you feel as though I am uncaring? How does this relate to other times in your life you've felt uncared for?")... I would think it's time for some action.

Some therapists are just that way. They believe that you're there in a very professional relationship, and that empathy and the sharing of details of the therapist's personal life are just distractions or unnecessary to helping you change in your life.

I think such things build rapport and a stronger emotional bond between the therapist and client, which I believe is important in order for the client to change -- to feel like they are in a supportive, caring environment where change can be nurtured. It doesn't sound like this therapist is a good fit for you.

It's not a matter of a good or bad therapist, you just need to find one that fits your style. You'll know it when you find him or her.

Good luck,
John