Being wounded from rejection by a loved one, or some other form of hurt, is very painful. There are a myriad of self-help books on the market (Just look at Amazon.com!) to help one get over emotional pain. There are also support groups, like "Rebuilding," and CODA (Codependents anonymous). Some people look for a therapist, but my experience with it has been not very helpful. I actually had one female therapist laugh at me when I was expressing painful feelings!
My feelings about my current mental state (which is improving!) has a been that I got myself into this latest mess, resulting in hurt, and must give myself time to recover. And, I don't have to tell you all here, it is damn hard work! I don't intend to wallow in it forever; life is too precious and short!
The thing I have found most significant in recovery is TIME! There is truth in the saying, "Time heals all wounds." When the wound is fresh, and the pain is unbearable (in my case....several months!), I asked myself, MY GOD, how much longer can I continue to feel this way?! At that stage, I was looking for help online, reading articles, advice columns, buying way too many of those books from Amazon, but desperately trying to heal myself. Now, I am just feeling the benefit of precious time and distance, and things are finally getting better.
Another thing I want to mention is the aspect of age. At 54, I am not nearly as resilient as I was at 23. I liken that to our ability to heal from physical scrapes much faster when we are younger. In my experience, it takes much, much longer as we get older, thus, making us more cautious. I suspect some people become so cautious, building a shell of self-protection around themselves, that they never open up again. I often feel that way.
I would like to hear others' opinions on the aspect of healing.
Seeker