I called her and left a message on her machine. It was one of these "It is so nice to hear your voice and can you call me back" type of things. Then I talked to the secretatry after I called back to ask if she gets her msgs through them or from the machine. I was told the the sectretary was instructed to check the machine and she will get the machine msg from the secretary. Great. The message is now for the secretary

I havent spoken to my t yet and I hope she gets the msg soon. I am not even sure what to say b/c there is so much to say. I just want her to come back but I wont be saying that. Im afraid I wont know what to say....if I said that to her I think it would be OK. I am hoping she understands how difficult this is for me.

I am going on vacation for 3 days and we are leaving tomorrow and I have this weird, kind of scared feeling (not that it isnt scary taking my kids on vacation...sometimes its like loading a bunch of little monkeys in the car and hoping for the best) that I am going far from my t. I know she is going away for a few days, too and I dont know where she will be but I just feel weirdly like I would prefer to stay home.
We will be at the beach and it is my favorite place in the world. I feel much more centered and peaceful at the ocean and it will be a good opportunity to connect with my kids/husband.

And then when we get back it will just be a matter of time before t comes back.