i can see exactly what you mean, and i do help others, i go to philosopher's cafe (it is a little local group where people who are somewhat like me come and discuss subjects). Unfortunatly, i do not recieve the joy of helping people as much as i would to learn the answers to all my questions. I know that everybody wandered some of these questions, but simply can not stop, sometimes i feel as i am going crazy. I have read some psychology and philosophy, and a lot of the times i find the solution to my problem all by myself. An example of that would like if i am angry and am losing control, physical stress, like running or working out relieives the violent side of anger. I still am somewhat depressed, but not violent or mean. and i found ways to treat depression without pills or theropies. But i must admit, this is something i have no clue how to whether walk around it or satisfy it. All my life i have been forming theories and wandering about many things. I use practicly all my knowledge, cause my philosophy goes like this - "if do not use the knowledge you have, there is not a big point in knowing than." I could easily consider myslef an unofficial psychologist, because i have helped people a lot and it worked, and i helped myself. But there is this one thing left that i simply can not satisfy. And the way my mind is built, i should be able to satisfy it in order ro be happy, that's why i posted this on the depression page. i am sick of teaching people, i want to learn myself, but who has that knowledge.