those of you who know me, know me well. most of you know about the situation between the mother and i. it's been almost two weeks with no contact and, except for having alot of memories, it's not been hard. it's been good in alot of ways.

today, i had my daughter call over and confirm that she'd be keeping the baby tomorrow (i have t). she said that she didn't know. that her husband might be having tests tomorrow. he might have an aneurism. i realize what a desperate situation that could be with a man his age.

thing is...is it for real? one never knows with her. is it a ploy? i called my brother and he didn't know anything about it. however, he hadn't spoken with them today and they probably just found this out today being it's monday.

should i contact her? should i wait for test results and then make my decision? there are alot of things i can deal with in this world...being mean is not one of those. another point, with everything i'm going thru, would i even be of any help to her? UGH Ugh ugh! if this isn't a test from her, it's certainly a test from fate, God, whatever one may choose to believe. you can imagine i'm getting alot of feedback internally about how mean i am then to the other degree about **** *** she doesn't deserve you.

please give me your input? y'all have been so helpful and supportive to me in the past. i can't think clearly on this one. i'm leaning to no contact until i at least see t tomorrow...

kd