I'm allergic to cats. Pretty bad. Put the cats in the list of issues you have with the relationship and bring them up. Either at home or at a couples' counseling session. You cannot be happy in the relationship if you have a lot of issues with your "side" of the relationship.

However - look inward too. Do you have issues with any relationship or just this one? If this one ends, will the next one be "tained" by the fact that this relathionship ended? (like the cat you lost, if you lose this relationship - does it transfer on to the next?)

You may need to have therapy yourself (I've been in therapy since 2004 pretty regularly - I enjoy it but you have to do the work). You could work on yourself and see how the relationship grows from that. But don't ignore your own needs - whether it is to get better or make the relationship better. But be clear and work on what bugs you.