Most Ex-relationship people don't want to be friends. You have to be ready to not be friends at all with her. I miss old girlfriends quite a bit. However, being married for 15 years now - that isn't helping me any... Memories are good. But what is *great* is an ability to look at the future as wide open and challenging. You appear to be looking at the past and defining your future based on your past. This is something that therapy can help with - it's worth looking into.