Hi. I'm a new member and this is my first post. I've ended up signing on to this website this night because my mental health has been on my mind a lot this summer. I'm pretty sure I have bipolar 2, perhaps with a bit of PTSD and obessive/ implusive tendecies. I spent my childhood and adolescence in a medication/marijuana coma. I came out of it when I turned 18, and I spent my 18th year completely off medication for the first time in nine years. The year went by with some mild trauma but I seemed to get by just fine in the end, and I accomplished in my social and professional life more in 1 year than I ever had before. However, when I got in to my first relationship and it failed to work out, I realized that something like that would never happen for me unless I went back on medication. Now that I'm back on I feel like a bit like a zombie again, though not as much because I'm on much less medicine (lamactal) than I once was. I've also been feeling darker and generally less happy. I was feeling really angry and said/did a couple of inappropriate things to my friends that hurt them, although that was not my intention. I guess what I'm trying to enunciate is that I'm feeling pretty bad, and almost like I can't control myself, but at the same time I can. It's hard because I feel like I am right on the border-- I'm not out of control enough to need treatment but at the same time I know I'm a little bit different from everyone else. I'm trying to come to terms with and I'm feeling a bit lost and I really don't know what to do. Can anyone relate? Thoughts? I don't know anyone else who is bipolar and it would be nice to hear from people who sometimes do things they can't control and would like to fix it, too

vanessa

ps. also: tips on impulse control techniques?