Thank you all.

Ya know, i remember 911. Where i was and what i was doing. It affected me alot. I sent donations cause i was unable to go there and physically help. I prayed for everyone. I still remember that like yesterday. It was hard to see on tv. So listening to the radio talk about it was really all i could handle. After seeing what happened that morning, that was enough. I remember praying they'd pull out a survivor, but that just dragged on and none were found. That time really hurt, it hurt for us all. I think the world walked around numb and blank if not for that one day for days after that then.

Alot of those emotions came back at me and they were a million times worse. This time i couldnt control them. I tried my hardest to keep them in tack, but many broke through.

I remember volunteers telling me they sat there and watched it all unravel on Cnn and knew they had to get down here. They wanted to hold you and pray with you, clothe you and feed you. There still down here.

I've been in so many different places since that first day we evacuated. And i've had so many people tell me they sent donations. They hope it got to those affected. Hearing those words touched me in ways i still can't explain.

My counsler has been on me and so have others to write more. I started to write about the first month after, but it got very hard to write the words down. And what i could remember was very sparse. I've lost track of days and the order in which days even happened. The first day we were allowed back I video recorded walking through my house and around it and sat down one day and edited it. I can remember that cause its gotten an imprint. Even though its one of the worst triggers for me. I made a video to the Randy Newman song '1927' and put it on youtube. I go there to my account and watch it, to remind me. To remind me of what. I guess just the emotions of then and now. Stupid of me to do, but i do it anyway. For me staying away as much as possible from all these triggers keeps me sane and out of serious depression. Though i'm not afraid to share my story too. I'm working on finding the balance between the two. Maybe one day a book, but for now the videos will have to tell my story.

Like you Elysium, i think alot of people were affected first hand, in some way, by someone from the storm. Survivors plucked from the murky waters were driven out on hot school buses all around the US. And i know seeing and hearing all about the storm affected everyone too. I don't remember when it happened, but i was in a walmart in this little town and this little boy was crying and throwing a fit over this toy he wanted. His mom kept telling him No, you cannot have it. I remember her taking his face in her hand and lookin in his eyes and saying, Stop it now!. I'll buy you the toy, but you have to give it to a little boy who lost his toys in Katrina. That little boy shook his head ok and said can i get two then. One for him and one for me and we can play together. Listening to what i think was maybe a 6 year old comprehend how he's affected by the storm gave me insight to how much the outside world of the little world i was living in cared.

I personally don't know how to express my appreciation for all the help we received along the gulf coast. I get overwhelmed by love and caring from you all.

love chalmette