I've been working for a company as a contractor in the Silicon Valley for a little over two years. I took this job out of necessity when my last company, where I had been for many years folded. About six months ago I was told by one of the Dept Heads here that the company was bidding on a job with the Finnish government, and that if we didn't get it, this company would fold as well. So, these people invested countless man-hours, did exhaustive research, and spent 10 million dollars in bid proposals try to win the bid. Yesterday I was informed that we lost the bid to a Russian company. I forgot to mention that if we got the bid, it would have meant a full-time position for me. They really made it sound like our competition didn't stand a chance. I wasn't really concerned.

When the Dept Head told me what had happened yesterday, he also said that the layoffs would be coming very quickly, by today, Monday at the latest. When all is said and done, this will put about 2000 people out of work. When I lost my last job, I had to look for awhile to find this one, and took a cut in pay to come here. We tapped out our savings, and a few 401k's. Becuase money has been tighter, we haven't had the chance to replace our saving or the 401k funds. So, if I lose my job, it's going to devastate my family.

I've always been able to figure out a way to get us out of any trouble we've ever had. I'm nothing if not creative. But this time, I don't see an answer, and I'm scared to death. There are no jobs in either of my fields of work, and believe me I've checked everywhere. I feel helpless, useless, and like a total waste of space right now. I'll sit at my desk all day waiting for that call or visit from the Manager telling me, "Gee thanks, but...." It may be old-fashioned thinking, but I was always told that a Husband/Father was supposed to take care of his family. I guess that stuck with me, and I'm not feeling good about myself.

There is still an existing project that will go thru the end of next year, but it is ramping down. The good thing is, it's in the phases where it requires all of my types of skillsets. So, I guess there is an outside possibility they might keep me on, at least for awhile longer. But if it comes down to axing full-time employees or contractors, I'm pretty sure I know who will go, and that's understandable.

So, if you have any prayers, chants, mantras, lucky charms...anything, please send them my way. I'm going to need all the help I can get

bp

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work."