Have you and T talked about why talking is hard? That is something to talk about and it can be relieving too. Talking about how hard it is and what your fears are can help those fears subside a bit. And you can talk about it each time it happens. When you find yourself stuck or unwilling to talk, say it right then so you and T can look at what's happening together.

I used to write things down but not to give to T. I took them with me to help me remember when I got stuck or couldn't get started, which was often. I usually only had to have them with me, in my pocket to touch, for them to help.

It can be really stressful and hard while this is happening, so I admire your determination and perseverence!