I keep an online journal, mainly because for some reason the idea that I might get feedback actually encourages me to write more often... so I was reading my old posts, and it was strange to me how I always noted the days when I felt what I call that 'deep blue wave of melancholy' rushing over me, but I never pinpoint days when I feel less depressed.

I don't know if it's because those beginnings are so much more profound, or if it's because feeling better is a more gradual process.

It's also kind of scary how the episodes of the blues have increased... two years ago there was one in six months, last year there were five over the course of the year... and the last one, in December of last year has never really gone away - in fact, since March, it's gotten worse.

So I cut 'n pasted all my journal entries onto my hard-drive, just in case my new therapist wants to see them. I don't really know if she even will, but the therapists I had as a teenager always encouraged journaling & would occasionally review them & use them as discussion topics during sessions.