I read with interest your post about bad habits. Many people suffering from depression use these bad habits to escape the reality that is their life or to give them a rush to make them feel good. Escapes can include alcohol, drugs, eating, gambling, self injury, sex, etc.

I fought off my depression by seeking sexual encounters. And, as much as most people would first think that this is deviant behavior (and it is) what I have learned on this board is that the reasons for doing it are so similar to other behaviors such as eating or self injury. Many of the triggers of the behavior are the same. The way you feel before and after the behavior are the same.

I have gotten my behavior under control for the past three months. It took me losing a woman that was the love of my life to shock me into doing something. I would feel terrible after acting out. I would feel guilt and shame, but nothing like the shame of being discovered.

I need to give some thought to your statement "we determine our lives by what makes us comfortable at the moment". On the one hand it's true that these momentary indulgences can wind up having a significant impact on our lives. God knows mine has changed my life, I lost the love of my life forever. But, we really should determine our lives by, not the moment, but by a series of actions taken to achieve our long term goals. Right now I am not at that point myself. I am simply trrying to survive another day. Trying to get over the shame, guilt and humiliation. Trying to get over the loneliness and isolation.

The first step is realiziaing that we are involved in behaviors that are going to negatively impact our lives. We have to be honest with ourselves. Then comes the committment and hard work to want to change.