hey Pixie peeps, you gals hang in there. Remember that feeling you had when you were with T, that *empowered* feeling of being true to yourselves and knowing his manipulation for what it is? That feeling will come back again. All that stuff you wrote about him not having power over you and you having as much worth as anyone else is true and real.

I wonder if he is feeling kinda scared right now... because you moved into the other room. And maybe in his fear he is upping the bullying antics, in an effort to 'control' you again. Kinda like - he wants you to be the wife he wants and he's afraid that is slipping away from him, so he is trying to subdue you / bully you / frighten you / force you back into submission.

Another thing I am guessing from reading your posts over time is that you are really sick and tired of being bullied, frightened and subdued. In your life you have experienced so very much of all of that and more and your anger about all of that comes through in your posts. I think... anger can be an empowering thing. Anger can give us the courage to finally stand up and say "Enough! This is NOT okay!" Because it isn't. Bullying and intimidation is never okay. Not when it is directed at a child, and not when it is directed at a wife, or your children's mother.

I think I'm kinda rambling. I guess my main point is - don't think the empowerment you felt before has completely deserted you. It's in there somewhere, even when you least feel it. Keep working on it with your T. I really believe you will start feeling it more and more.

hey ps. My stupid father used to have BIG tantrums when we didn't do what we was supposed to. they made us REALLY scared for a long time and so for a long time we didn't do anything bad that would make him have a tantrum. But then we figured out he did it because he was scared when we didn't do what we was supposed to because he thought he was losing control of us.When we figured that out we wasnt' scared of him anymore! Maybe you won't be scared of that phil person too. I think its okay for you to be who you are even if that scares that phil!