white_iris,
Comfort is always deserved, we must allow our minds/hearts to accept it. It has to begin within ourselves, though. You do have the power within to trust your own comfort instead of giving weight to what others think we deserve...

Many of us put on masks to cover our anguish.
In my FOO, family of origin, few emotions were allowed and there was a high price paid if they were shown.

Stuffing them became an Olympic sport, a silent and deadly one. No winners, there were many defeated participants, though...

Keep at it; you've already come a long way.
Rest for a bit, and put one foot in front of the other.
Sloth steps and crawling are encouraged when baby steps are an enormous effort to inch forward.

Keep posting; you know we care, don't you?
This is one time when "others" can be a source of comfort and acceptance.

In Peace

...usual disclaimer; jmo/jme