Mark - I am sorry you have to go through this. Your wife sounds very immature. I have no moral problem with swingers, but I really feel that this is something that cannot work in a real relationship. It seems to me that it is always one sided, one person in the relationship is really into it and the other is not. Marriage is about compromise. We all have to squelch certain aspects of our personalities. This is not always a bad thing. The fact that she does not care that she may be hurting you is a bad thing. I know it is hard to think about being alone, but isn't it worse to think that you would be with her the rest of your life? I think you have risen way above the what would be required in a marriage. Personally, I think she is acting like a child and you should give her an ultimatum to go to counseling with you. Also, doesn't she think her behavior is more apt to ruin the kids lives? I wish you luck.