Since I remember I was alone....I think I've never had a close friend whom I really rely on....probably, just short period of time and then I lost them as usual....
I always feel that I bother people, that's why I don't call them that much and I try to give people space....then all of a sudden I get clingy and I want them when they don't want me....
I'm so sensitive and emotional....trying to work on it....but hard to get over the old habits, I guess....
This loneliness is killing me big time.....I'm trying to make some friends, but it looks like I don't find common things with them....
What do I have to do? Am I going to stay a loner for rest of my life????
Please help me....what do I do? how can I change all these negative thoughts? I'm really trying here....but something is hunting me and I can't get rid of it....something deep down into me is screaming that nobody likes me....I can't understand it....I felt people liked me before....
but honesty, these days I prefer to be alone and not being with others....what is wrong? I'm getting afraid....please help me....
Now that I think about my past....I can go over same pattern over and over and over again....finding friends and hooking up with them....then after awhile not enjoying them and cutting them off completely from my life and then wanting them after a while, but being so afraid of rejection and not getting back to them....sometimes, I hooked back to the same old friend and the friendship got even stronger.....
I have to mention this pattern in my mom....She can make friendship very easily, but then she breaks up so quickly when she finds a little bit disagreement! I hated her behavior before....and now, I'm like her!

with love
Marjan