Lately, i've been having this problem in that i feel really stressed out that i am 18 years old--im technically concidered an adult.

I remember, when i was about 8 or 9 years old, and for some reason, i started to feel like i wasn't a kid anymore, even though i wanted to still be a little kid. I remember being 9 and wishing i was still 5. I was not able to enjoy my childhood very much, because i just didn't even feel like a child. But now when i look back, it's real dissapointing that i felt like that at 9 years old, because a nine year old IS a little kid and i wish i had known that.

When i was 16 was when all my problems got worse and i got real psychotic and depressed and was in and out of hospitals. Ever since then, time has gone by real fast and much of the time, i literally don't even believe that i really am 18. I feel as though i am still 16 and that i missed something. That someone has sent me into the future or changed my sense of time just to %#@&#! me off. Lots of my memories since the time i was 16 just feel like a blurr or like a dream and like i was far, far away from myself. I still feel this way, and im sure it's just part of having schizophrenia, but i feel far away and like im in a dream and everything is going too fast.

I really wish i could go back in time and be a kid for a little longer. I still feel like a teenager--like im 16. I missed out and i am not ready to be an adult.

-Becka