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My T, being the wonderful, kind man he is, told me my plan of escape would be considered a medical emergency and he would get me help if I went through with it. I can't blame him;it's his job. But now, I can't tell him my real feelings for fear of being put in a hospital. No hospital can fix what's wrong with me or my life. I guess I am the only one who can fix it and I don't know if I want to or if I can. It is shattered.
When he asked if he should call the hospital, I told him ONLY if it is a long term state hospital so I will never see the outside again. I have a husband who may or may not give a damn, depending on the situation, and two grown daughters. What kind of monster does this make me?...wanting to disappear from them?
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