The more you stress about remembering, the more likely it is that events will evade you. So try and just breathe. Some people are very good at remembering. It could be that other parts of you are holding those memories and they will hold on to them until it is safe.

So please try and relax.

Also I wonder if you have ever been treated with ECT. That can remove memories. Otherwise your mind is just trying to protect you right now. So try and be kind to yourself and just let things happen in their own time.