Thank you for your reply, Lynn09. It's very inspiring. I've never thought I've been improving, but recently I'm seeing the improvements bit by bit, when I get through tough situations that I never could before.

Thank you everyone for being here. These past few days I have been really struggling and Connor and I have had a few blazing rows, but have sorted them out somehow, mostly him realising he's the one in the wrong and apologising after making me feel I have to apologize. We're getting better slowly. It's just his parents saying the things they do about me. I know they have a bad opinion of me and judge me and I hate that because they don't even know me how they think they do. They don't even know the half of it yet they make out I want all this s--t and that I want to lock Connor away, make him a hermit when actually, I'm the one trying to get him to go out!

Eating is just awful. Lost a stone in less than 2 weeks and although I'm happy with it, I know that Connor is not. Fun. he tried forcing me to eat pizza and chips the other night, saying I WILL put it on my plate and I WILL eat ALL of it, every single crumb. Then when I looked like I was about to cry, whilst just looking at it, feeling sick and looking at the grease glistening on the cheese that was on the pizza, he put his head in his hands, looked at me and said: "Look, Kirst.. I'm sorry. I didn't want to try and force you to eat when you don't want to. I'm just so worried that because you're losing so much weight so fast, you're going to take it too far and it terrifies me... I love you.. But... You don't have to eat the pizza or the chips if you don't want to, just stick to the salad on the plate if that's all you can do."

So we're moving forward. I'm trying my best to eat, but I couldn't even eat my favourite food --- lasagne the other night! And that makes me sad

I was supposed to see counsellor yesterday but she messed up the dates in her diary, so put it as next week by accident, so I wasted perfectly good money that could've gone on electric or something, on a wasted bus journey but hey ho. I'll see her next week instead I guess.

Bleh. I'm exhausted and can hardly think properly. I keep falling asleep all the time crying all the time, I weigh myself at least 6 times a day.. Connor caught e weighing myself and asked me why and then saw pictures on my phone of me sideways on and asked why.. I told him I want to keep track of my weight and size. He went to delete the pictures, but I begged him not to so he didn't.

I hate this, I really do.. But now I'm a stone down and only have another 2 and a half to go...