thank you everyone. Just ranting on this post helped some.

It's hard for me to see my worth now for many reasons...
1. I'm not in school, all my friends ARE. I got forced on leave for medical reasons and they won't even look at me to evaluate me yet, even though I got a letter saying they would.
2. At my new job, the first day of training made me very uncomfortable, and made me almost feel I had to do stuff like flirt with people etc to fit in and I'm not about that.
3. I'm having trouble practicing because I'm not in school *see a pattern?* - not being able to do what I love to do hurts me and makes me feel insufficient.
4. I want to be able to help my boyfriend out with his school - he's had a hard time with school more recently but I feel I'm dragging him down by feeling this way and all the stress I'm under.
5. I have problems with the kitties I live with and feeling animosity towards them brings me down.
6. I feel VERY isolated from all my friends, as they're all going to classes and I'm not , so I never see them *I should probably call them but it's a bit hard, esp today because I have a night shift - so when they get off from school I go to work >.>

long list, sorry for it, but that's kinda what I'm at right now. I AM glad I got a job, but I WILL be looking for another one where I'm more comfortable if my dislike of this work situation persists.

hugs to you all, your words of comfort and support do mean a lot - it's so much easier when you have a chorus singing out the words rather than just one voice