The day started out early (2am) but ok. Now I am very, very depressed. So depressed, I've thought of ending my life.

I just feel like a brick wall has come crashing down on me and is just laying there on top of me. How will I ever get back up again?????

I feel hopeless, helpless, alone yet invaded, scared, confused, weary, leary...

Because Monday is a holiday I won't see my T until next Thursday. I texted him asking if he could see me Tuesday--no reply.

I see my pdoc on Tuesday. I am going to ask her for help. I've had too many days like this. I can't last like this forever.