You know a lot of people get really comfortable in their relationships. I do think that the in love fellings can come back, but both of you need to work on it. Maybe the two of you could talk about what both of you need in your relationship. From what I have just read he is not attending to your needs. Maybe some marriage therapy will help both of you, but you can't blame yourself for all of this. Your husband needs to take responsibilty for his part to. I would ask him if he would be interested in the therapy. I would also like to add that those John Grey books. "men are from Mars" etc. etc. are really good. The books explain why this and that are the way they are, and they do give you some tools to work with. I do agree that it would be very painful for your husband telling you that he is not in love with you. I would ask him to stop saying this to you. If you two are arguing alot then it's best to walk away from the situation until the both of you cool off, and then try to talk about it.