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alex_D said:
Depression is caused by mental/emotional stress. And since i can see how it is very hard for me to manage it, I wish very often that my mind could handle stress much better, if I could be a "work-aholic" and enjoy school stress, not just the results of my work, but the work itself. And this is one thing that is different about me than most people is that for some reason I so desperate to get the answers, and since I can't I become depressed.

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I wish it was that easy - I can throw myself into work wholeheartedly, but eventually I'll end up w/an hour of downtime, and I still just want to crawl under my desk & sob into my hands. It does give you a broader scope of people to snap at, though. In a way, work has made it easier for me to avoid 'the real world' - no family get-togethers because I'm working, no social engagements because I'm working, no Friday nights out on the town because - I'm at work, on graveyard shift... I always pick shifts that will ensure that I'm working on holidays & other people's birthdays, and since I'm technically the department head, I can't just take a day off because I feel like it. And my job has been more than helpful in refusing to let me train more people so I have relief coverage.

When I went to the psychologist today, there was a brief questionnaire on drug use... I almost filled in all the blanks w/'work'. It's true - it's robbed me of my social life, it's interfering w/my relationship w/my husband, makes me lose sleep & when I go without it for more than 2 or 3 days I start going out of my mind. The only thing about it is in the U.S., no one will ever spring an intervention on me - and unlike drugs, work doesn't exactly drain the bank account. Ulcer medication & sleep aids, on the other hand, do.