Sorry I have no advice, but I am 45, have had "mental" fantasies even told my husband about them, but never would go as far as acting on them, if so I'd think the marriage is in trouble. I know it is late in the game but when this all started you should have sought counselling, in fact it is not too late if both of you are up to it. I hope you all have been careful about the possiblity of contracting and spreading STD'S and even AIDS!