(((((me.now))))

As someone who sometimes loved life and sometimes hated life at age 15, I am sorry you have had such negative thoughts. I have battled with suicidal ideation since I was 13 and I remember times of great despair and times of great hope. It wasn't until I was older that I learned I was not as isolated as I thought I was. I'm glad you have some good social interaction lined up and that you are focusing on Italian. I had fun with foreign languages, too.

I agree with others who have suggested seeing a school counselor. I did therapy with a school counselor once and it worked out okay. If you don't actually want to do therapy with them, they can be good resources (as someone else also said). Ugh! I don't want to just repeat stuff, but I happen to agree.

Keep posting as needed. This is a safe place.