I have a genetic predisposition to bipolar disorder. Knowing this, I have kept a watchful eye on my behavioral patterns over the years (once I accepted that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I did end up like those in my family with the same disorder).

I am beginning to feel as if I need to attach a name to whatever it is I have been tracking - and I don't think it is the same type of bipolar disorder as is in my family. I think I need to consider talking to a psychologist about the possibility of testing for rapid cycling.

This is a rough example of my behavioral patterns (which I have kept a tally (literally) of over the past 2yrs):

I am not sure which comes first, so I will just start with the mania-like behaviors....
- I become a night person.
- I have more energy then I know what to do with.
- What seems logical to me, is, in actuality, complete chaos. example: Once, I decided to reorganize my entire basement. I did this by dumping everything in the middle of the room, then started scrubbing the walls, throwing away perfectly good boxes and replacing them with tubber ware bins. I made a list of everything in the room and sorted the items based off of my list - then each bin received it's own list. all items were placed in the new bins by size and color and had to all face the same direction.
- I also go on a cleaning spree beyond normalcy. The Health Department would love me during this time. Nothing is clean enough! I once took apart my bathroom sink because it didn't feel clean. I had spent the day scrubbing, lysoling, and even polishing the sink. However, I KNEW those pipes were dirty! It HAD to come apart or it would NEVER be truly clean. My poor husband had to convince me that this was simply mad.
- Creative ideas take over. I have several artistic hobbies. This phase tends to bring out the greatest amount of focus towards those hobbies.
- I carbo-load.
- Obsessive list maker. Every list has to have it's own notebook and it's own pen. The lists are quite... well... manic. They're all over the place. I once arranged every vacation for the next seven years - day-by-day. What time I wanted to arrive at our destination. Where I wanted to eat lunch. I even adjusted hotel and airline costs for inflation. I even came up with an envelope plan in order to save up for each vacation.
- I didn't go to college for anything artistic. No, my degree is more pragmatic. I tend to use this phase to contact EVERYONE I KNOW in my degree-field and start wanting to research.
- I tend to get more speeding tickets. I have actually been in danger of losing my license more than once. Last July, my insurance company actually dropped me. Fortunately, I was able to find a new company lol.
- I tend to through caution to the wind and buy useless objects, whether it be clothes, new dishes, books (oh I have a thing for books)....
- I am also a royal *****!

This period tends to last about four days.

Now, I can be on this high, say, Tuesday morning. When it is time for me to crash, I will have done so by Tuesday lunch! I will have become irritable, tired, exhausted and even "sick." This period tends to last 7-10 days. Nothing makes me happy. I am miserable in my life. I don't want to do anything but, because of my familial obligations, I go through the motions rather robotically. I'm a joy-killer.

Gradually, I will level out. I will be... normal... I will be happy and in love with my husband. I want to around everyone, but moderately. I still get stressed. I still get tired. I still get bored... but it's all normal levels. This period will also last 7-10 days.

Obviously, my high episodes are disruptive. What has kept me from seeking any sort of help is the simple fact that I feel functional at all times. During my lows, I am still meeting my obligations. I may be completely unsocial, tired and gloomy... but work is getting done and on time. When I'm up, I feel like superman (woman, I suppose lol). I manage to tear apart my sink AND bake a cake from scratch AND finish my work, AND be the perfect PTO mom, AND ___ AND ___ AND ___ etc...

Also, I'm not really sure how to present my concerns of this potential clinical rapid cycling behavior to a psychologist. I'm not just going to walk in and say "hey, I think I'm a rapid cycling bipolar. How can you help me?"

Finally, my biggest fear is that I am right. I don't take medication. When I have a headache - I deal with it. I broke my next in an unfortunate accident a few years back. I was confined to a halo for 6months. I didn't pop a single pain pill. My kids were 100% natural child birth. It's not that I don't believe in taking medication. I am supportive of modern medicine. My body tends to take whatever drug is consumed and doubles the effects. Benadryl may make a normal person drowsy. I will sleep for 12+ hours off of a child's dose. I've always been like that. "May cause nausea." I might as well be put on bed rest with a bucket next to me. I don't even want to think of the effects of mood stabilizers on person such as myself.

What do you think I should do from this point?