I wish I had the ad sooner. I've been hit hard with this sadness. Overwhelming weight and released a flood of tears. The dam was opened and I took it out on myself. I wasn't supposed to be alone last night but ended up that way. I wish it ddnt end that way my self control is gone. I don't know how I feel now. I've awoken after 3 hours of sleep. In a strange sense of calm. It scares me. I don't know whcih way I'm going now. Someone is supposed to come here tomorrow. I hope they come early. The earlier the better. Just as long as I'm not alone again. Its safer.