Not sure if I wrote this before in this thread or another but use the Zen koan of "expect nothing ... be prepared for anything".

The Borders guy in fact may have a girlfriend now but may flirt innocently with you but nothing may come of it. At that point - keep on going and don't be discouraged - it's not a "no" it's a "I can't" type situation. Then again - he may not have a gf and things go great (crossing fingers).

I've found that women and men are more open to experience new relationships than I ever thought. The disapointing part of my life has been what may be a low-level agoraphobia which came from my upbringing - to assume someone isn't interested in me and I shut down. My mother called me "shy" and I call it "debilitating". I never learned that "No" meant "try again". No just means "keep going". Just as racers don't quit racing when they lose a race - we can't quit looking for experiences in life when we hear "No".

You can even ask someone out just for practice expecting a no. The best part of being hurt (carefully) is it can make you stronger. There is a good learning experience in disapointment as long as you're "ready for anything".

Somethings I've never done in my life. Never asked for a raise. Never asked a girl to go out with me. Things just happened. I'm married (imagine that!) and my wife was the one who urged me to get engaged (oh lots of words to write about that)...