Today I have a sense of calm. I'm not sure what to think. It was so horrible yesterday and now I'm numb. Numb I started the ad today. I know it won't make a dif right away. I had a friend come over earlier and another is on the way now. I don't want to be alone right now. I'm not sure I wld be safe if I am for long. I just want to be back up. I don't want this down. Its hard right now. Oh my.