Well I can give you some examples on how I do things, but I'm not to sure it will help you. Ok my mom passed when I was 15, and her side of the family has nerver been on good terms with me. One minute they like me, and the next they don't. I have learned how to take them for who they are. In the past they have really upset me bad. So now I just don't speak to them. When I deal with things from my past I need to heal from it. I haven't all the way. The only people we can change is ourselves. When you take a step back and see the situation for what it is, then you can really see where the problem is and work around it, or you can try again and work with it. Our past is our past. We can only learn from it, no matter how hard it is. When something makes pain for us then we need to reach inside ourselves and learn how to forgive, learn, and move on. When you learn how to take people for what they truly are, and forgive them with your heart then you can free yourself from the pain. Forgiving is one of the hardest things that anyone can do. Especially for ourselves. So even if something is very hard for us, then learning from it can be a true reward.