Hey guys, I know I have posted a thread before about my grandma and how she has Alzheimers. Well I'm finally gathering up the strength to go see her tomorrow. I just talked to my dad and he said he couldn't even communicate with her the last time he saw her but I feel like I need to go see her. I asked him to go with me that way I wouldn't be so hysterical.

The last time I saw her she thought I was my cousin and my boyfriend was my cousin's husband. She was talking about college friends and when I asked her what year she thought it was she said 1956. Then she realized that she didn't know where she was or any of the people around and got very frustrated with herself and it hurt to see her like that.

My niece told me that when she saw her last time she thought she was me. I guess her memory just stopped about 8-10 years ago so she thinks my 14 year old niece is me and that I'm my cousin because the last time she remembers her was when she was in her early 20s.

I just don't know how I'm going to handle it. Every time I see her she just says that she wishes God would take her now and how she doesn't want to live anymore. So it's not like I WANT her to pass but she seems so unhappy and so miserable. She knows that what she remembers isn't right but just goes along with it because she doesn't have the REAL memories. She will point to paintings on the wall and tell you how that's her house in Florida (which she sold after my grandpa died in 2001). She also thinks that my grandpa just died within the last few months and he has been dead almost 8 years.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice, just moral support. It really helps knowing that people on here have dealt with this before and have gotten through it. The hardest part is that I grew up next door to my grandparents and saw them everyday after school for basically the first 12-13 years of my life. They were always a huge part of my life. So it hurts extremely bad when she doesn't even know who I am. I guess I'm just hoping that tomorrow might go better than I expect. Thanks in advance for your kind words (since I know that everyone here is extremely supportive). I'm glad I can count on everyone here to be here for me during this hard time.