I got attacked last year and cant bring myself to get checked out.i know its disgusting i havent.iv got to the clinic before but not thru the door.id ask my doctor for a sedative but as ive had addiction issues with diazepam im very doubtful they would(maybe this is me giving myself excuses).i want desperately to get this done.noone knows about what happend except the police,i thot my gp did but maybe not.i pussyd out of the trial too(the procurator pressed charges on my behalf,i never wanted it) still got 12years.why am i so pathetic.i know what i need to do.why cant i do it.ive been b4(b4 all this).i hate myself.and now ive left it so long theres that shame too.im hoping writing this makes me face up to what i need to do.sorry 4 grammar etc im on my mobile.has any1 left things too long?what helped u?im embarassed.i know i need to just go.i wish i was someone else so i could drag this body there.i hate myself 4 this.whats my plan of action?clinic or gp?god either,just go.my heads screaming it at me but i jus