He who shouts loudest gets heard hun, go back to the Dr and let him/her know you need help NOW tell them you are in a bad way and really need to talk to a T about your issues, leave it a week and then go again saying the same things.

He/she will chase them up even if they tell you they cant believe me they can and do.

Holding things in will not help you even if you talk on here to somone (pm me if you feel you can talk to me) somone you feel you can talk to anyone who you feel able to.

Revenge is a nice feeling for a while but you will find it eats you up inside and there is no need for it you can let it go trust me with T you can !

Life can and will get better but its like all things it takes time you will have to learn paitence however its worth it.