Well I broke down and went to my new famiy doc today. Waited 3 hours then got in and was only allowed to be seen mby a Nurse Practitioner
I told her how I had been feeling the past 3 days, how my panic attacks were constant and I could'nt eat or sleep because of them. How I could'nt even leave my house. And how they were making me physically sick. I told her how Zoloft caused me to have suicidal thoughts and all that. Well she gave me another SSRI. That's all she could give me because the doctor left for the day 15 minutes before. Then I get out to the truck, I'm bawling because I know how my next few days will be and my husband is mad at me because it took 3 hours and I did'nt get any help Well I was like "f" it I'll try this med (I'm getting desperate here) I get to the pharmacy to get my med and wait another 30 minutes to find that my insurance would'nt cover it. I hate this s**t!! I hate it! I have been trying for 6 years to get help and I cannot, for the life of me, get any from anyone!!!! Now my husband won't speak to me (like it's my effin fault) and I am still in the same shape I was this morning. I give up on doctors, psychs., nurses, hospitals, etc.. Why should I even try to get help? No one wants to help you. Around here if you go to the doctor because you are having panic attacks, they drug test you, ask you 50 questions then give you some thing that either (A) you can't take or (B) your insurance won't cover and you have'nt got the money for it. It's all a croc. All of it. i am not going to waste any more time on thse doctors and no more money on these meds because none of them work. None. It pisses me off sooo bad that a drug addict around here can go to the doctor and say "I'm having some stress" and the doc pulls out the prescription paper and gives them Valium or Xanax or some kind of benzo-whatever. Then they go and sell it or take it all in 3 days or trade it for crack. But I go in broke out in hives from my chest to my forhead crying and just a mess and I get a drug that is in the same class as one I cannot/will not take b/c of the thoughts. And my ins. won't cover.
I can't do this!! My head hurts from the stress, I can't eat b/c my nerves are so bad I am sick to my stomach and I have to suffer. This is B.S.