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(JD) · Sep 06, 2009, 08:00 PM

yes, I'm sure that being 302d even once is traumatizing in itself!

Family rarely understands, even when a doctor explains. However, if they truly think the medication is causing you to be 'darker' in your thinking, they need to tell your doctors this. It could be true, you know? Not everyone can take any meds and have them work fine for them. You might need a med change. It could be contributing to your feelings.

But, also, it could be that family ignored how you were going downhill and only noticed once you began to share in therapy and begin to ask some questions or find some answers to it all.

Bipolar Disorder is a very tough disorder to balance...and it often takes a very long time to find the right combination and right dosage of medication. You might keep a journal so that you can help the doctor track how you are feeling over time.

Hang in there. You won't always feels so bad. You're on the right path. I know it's tough to be hospitalized, but sometimes it's necessary. It isn't because of you, it's because of your disorder. You are not your disorder and your disorder is not who you are.