Hi all. I just need to get some stuff off my chest. I feel as though I've talked this issue to death with my family and friends, and I still have these horrible feelings of anger and disgust that won't go away.

This is very minor compared to most of the issues I've read about on PC. I've tried to talk myself out of it when the anger creeps in but it's hard. I have OCD, so my brain gets stuck on things.

Basically, I have a family member - by marriage - that I hate. I'm not exaggerating. I despise him. He is pretentious, judgmental, arrogant, racist, sexist, rude, and is just one of the most rotten people I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. He is married to my aunt, with whom I am currently living (I moved out of the state in which I grew up and came across the country to start anew and am living with her until I can find a job and what not). They are married but he is living in another state. He pays the mortgage on this house. I thought months back when my aunt told me he had moved out that they'd be divorcing - in fact I hoped with all my might that this would be the case, as did my entire family. No one can stand him. I have always believed that they moved over 1,000 miles from where our family is because my aunt knows deep down how much everyone dislikes her husband and she didn't want to have to see it all over everyone's faces every time there was a family gathering or something. We all can't stand him because of the reasons I listed above but my issue with him is far more personal than anyone else's. This is the second time I have lived in this state and the second time I've lived with my aunt. The first time he still lived here and one day, he watched my new boyfriend drop me off at the house after work and when I came in he began screaming at me, calling me a slut, accusing me of "f***ing all the guys" at my work, being a loser, a piece of s***, and a wh***... he basically tore me a new one. All I did was get a ride home from my boyfriend (who I'd only been dating for a short time and had not yet introduced to my aunt and her husband).

Long story short (haha) he threw me out of his house. I moved in with the guy I was dating and didn't speak to my aunt or the jerk for over a year. I passed up an invitation to come to their house when my other aunt and my cousins came in to town and admitted that it was because of my "uncle", and my aunt stopped speaking to me. She refused to listen to my side of the story and completely shut down when I told her how uncomfortable I felt being around him. He never once apologized to me for his behavior.

So now, he lives out of state, but he is coming in for a visit this weekend. He was just here a few weeks ago and I tried very hard to make nice but it was torturous. He sat there talking about his $800 sunglasses and how all his new friends that he made after he moved are millionaires. He also made some very nasty remarks about my name (telling me I should shoot my mother in the face for naming me what she did), which he claimed were "just jokes" but he offended me and I was so angry I was this close to telling him I hoped his plane crashed on the way back to his millionaire lifestyle. The worst part was I was serious. I would not be sad if he died. I hate his living guts. I am trying to make plans so I don't have to see him this weekend but am sickened at the possibility of not being able to find something to do and HAVING to see him. That's how much I can't stand him. I also get upset when I think about having to tell my aunt that I'm probably not going to be around. She knows I don't like him and just tells me to "get over it". She truly doesn't see what everyone else does. I have no idea why she hasn't yet served him with divorce papers. I never would have moved in with her if he still lived here. I never expected him to come back twice within a month to visit.

So I guess I'm wondering is there a way I can communicate my feelings to my aunt without looking like the bad guy? I'm done with "pretending" and "grinning and bearing it". I'm terrible at pretending and I also am pretty bad at lying, so this is nightmarish for me. But I can't see myself being around him for even a nanosecond. She's going to tell me to get over it and I am unable to do that. I also have some resentment toward her because she doesn't try harder to see my point of view after the way he treated me. She expects me to just to forget about it. I can't. I see the world in black and white (I know this is unhealthy but it's also a fact, just saying). He is a hateful human being and nothing will ever change the way I feel about him. He ruined everything years ago when he verbally assaulted me and kicked me out for no reason.