I am so sick of losing time. I really almost feel like I can't stand it sometimes.

I have NO IDEA why I switch out all the time. There is nothing "bad" in my life. But I am CONSTANTLY looking back and having no idea what happened. It makes me sad because I have three awesome boys and I feel like I am missing their whole childhood. Or at least the part of me that is typing this right now is missing their whole childhood. For all I know, there is some other part of me that knows everything that is going on. I get so confused

And I don't know when I switch, so I don't know what my triggers are. All I know is I look back and everything is gone. I had this big realization today about love, not a bad thing, and I kind of think that might have triggered something, but I'm not sure.

And what really frustrating is that I'm not even sure who is typing this right now. If this is normal treehouse who posts here all the time, or not. I can't remember if there are times when I CAN remember what went on during the day. Like, maybe normal treehouse was there all day and I'm switched out RIGHT NOW and just this part of me can't remember.

I don't know if I am making ANY SENSE. I just get confused and frustrated. And just when I think I am starting to figure things out a little bit, I am always realizing that I'm just as confused as ever