(((((Starlite)))))
I'm so sorry you are in such a tough situation. It does sound best that you leave such a toxic environment. You are not an awful person. You care so much for people around here. You make me smile. Are there any social services that you could take advantage of in your area? They could help you plan on how to move out in the best way possible. Keep us updated on what is going on. We care about you.