Dancer, when you respond to her do you think your own issues can get in the way (that it hits too close to home)? If this is happening, you will be responding to your own issues and not to hers and this can be upsetting for people. Also, this is her journey. She has to start where she is and travel it with her own direction. Just support her, tell her that you are sorry that she is feeling bad and try to help her figure things out from where SHE is........