thanks for the advice i decided that too, pretty much. my good friend said if i believed that this would not happen again it was worth trying to work it out, but if i could see it happening again then to call it a day. i could see it happening frequently! also, i am very much all or nothing with friends. if i am there for them, i am, through everything, and expect them to be too - if they are a good friend it's not difficult, it's done easily and happily. but if one person doesn't trust the other, then there will be trouble. if they don't trust them and also only expect them to be there in good times, then it's a disaster.