Quote:
Originally Posted by AAAAA
He made a big deal about a minor accident she had about a month ago. He has no financial stake in this at all, he lives with her in her house and does not contribute to the household income. I asked her in passing why she'd put up with this behavior, she never really answered so I think she probably doesn't want to talk about it.
I truly wish I could be more like her. I get so frustrated and irritated relatively easy and she's just able to take it all in stride.
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Option 1: - she feels she doesn't deverse better.
This may sound a bit stupid but never mind, when i was younger my mum always told me that if i don't clean my teeth more no man will ever kiss me. this went on for a long time, obviously my mum was trying to get me to clean my teeth more which i hated doing. anyway as a result of this i felt that i didn't deserve any man, i was about 17 at the time, no friends and builled a lot (i mean lighter and arosal in my face burning my hair kind of bulling not the point). i meet some guy online, and meet up with him, he was really stupid and gugly, but i was with him and convising myself that i couldn't get anyone any better. it didn't go on too long, as my dad told me to look at the way i behave when i have seen him and then when i haven't been around him for a while. i realised he made me a really misserable and angry person, so i left.
Option 2: - she feels sorry for him.
I have an example of this too. I was about 18 this time, this guy who was scared of becoming his father (in prison) and it really bothered him, he was very drepressed i felt sorry for him, and thought i could help him somehow. we were friends for a while, realising he had never had a girlfriend and thinking that it would boost his confidence i went out with him. some time later dispite all my attempts i realised that the only person who could help him was himself, (hardest thing i know), and he was really being to creep my out, drinking too much etc.. i became scared that he would be voliant towards me, i decided to leave him knowing nothing i could do would help and i'm only putting my own life in danger. breaking up was interesting as he turned up drunk the next day i mean 3am, really angry banging at my window. later i felt bad as what started as me trying to help, made his situation worse.
If she feels sorry for him, them maybe try and explain to her that the only person who can fix his life is him, not her and she shouldn't not get in the way of that. If she feels that she doesn't deserve anyone better, then she has a lack of self confidence and self worth, maybe complementing her, and if you resect her qualities so much why don't you tell her, maybe she can help you not be so frustrated at the little things. or maybe you have OCD.