Well... I would say I get you on that one...

I am a bit in a different position - I am transgender (even so I thought I might be a lesbian before), but had faced sexual and physical abuse in the past. My relatives believe because of the sexual abuse I am attracted to females and feel that I am male, because of some selfdefence reason.

I would say that, first of all, the main thing is to be happy and in balance with who ever attracts you and you have a relationship with. Also I see it like 50/50 who knows why it is like that. I been asked before if it's because abuse in the past or something, I say no, but I can never know for sure. It gave me confusion about my sexuality, however one time when it's started to become a real inside problem and out of control, I set down and just had a good talk with myself, my feeling... heart-to-hear so to say... Looked deep into such areas who am I really attracted to (including sexually, but not limited to that), how does it feel, how the fact of who I am attracted to makes me feel? What attracts me in female/male or both? What are examples of this attraction? Tryed to compare with some experience others describe as sexual attraction, love, relationship, family wise, etc. So that's how I got to the point that, yes, I do like specifically women, even got some strong understanding on why. Ofcourse if to analyze some things still will be unclear, like if you like female because of the idea of that warm care (that is special in female way and different from male), like for me I questioned is that because I didn't have close realtionship with my mother from the begining of teenage years and she wasn't there to protect me from abuse (which was from stepdads side)... so I thought if it's why I might seek women, but at the same time then the actual sexual feeling towards women makes that version strange... Or something in general in female personality attracts me... Actually I been questioning if I might be bi at one time, but got it more or less clear that it's nice to look at a good body male or female, might be intresting (like when a person in a very good shape, or has interesting look - for example like someone who you would imagen to be on a cover of a magazine with blond hear and blue eyes, etc.). Sometimes I might be attracted to the person and think about sexual as how would it be (in my case in terms of males), but then I never the less I go with someone who I am trully sexually attracted to which is mostly female... Somehow in the end I got to the point of just knowing who I like, and just being happy with a person who I have healthy sexual, emotional, friend-lover relationship with because I see it more important then bothering of who I am attracted to, actually then when I got kind of clear understanding that I am into females only.

Basically there is a lot of guessing that I think never can be 100% proven and understood...

In any case, hope that maybe my experience might somehow be helpful.

Wish you luck!